Amy Jo On The Go!

Archive for the ‘OCD’ Category

One minute I feel like I’m right on track and the next minute I’m fighting severe anxiety knowing that I’m knee deep in shit (pardon my language). I’m in the final stages of the wedding planning process and I can honestly say that this stage IS NOT MY FAVORITE!

A few months back I had that revelation that I think all brides eventually have, where you start to “scale back” and only concentrate on the things that actually matter. But, I still feel like there is so much stuff (and truly I think of it as “stuff”) that I’m so worried about.

Whenever I start to question myself I step back, take a deep breath and try to find the “sane” bride that I know is hiding somewhere deep inside.

• What if no one likes the music I picked for the DJ to play? To be honest, my fiance and I like the music and I know my friends like the music so even if we are the only ones on the dance floor it will still be a blast
• What if my dress doesn’t fit after alterations? I’ve lost 30 lbs in the past year, I think if I need to lose 3-5 lbs the last 1.5 months before the wedding I will be fine. I’ve got the resources and knowledge to do this so calm the F down already
• Are we giving our guests enough choices in the booze department? People like free booze and after enough time passes they will be too loaded to even care
• Are guests going to be upset that there are no chairs for the ceremony? Young people can stand and the older guests get a chair with the family. If you don’t like it, plop your butt down on the ground
• What if any of our relatives/guests start “acting up”? We are going to ignore them or ask them to leave
• What if the guests don’t like our casual buffet? We are serving food that fiance and I both like and it tastes amazing. Everyone else can swing through McDonald’s when they leave.

These are only a few of the items that I battle everyday. In the end, the “sane” bride always pulls through and makes sense of it all, but it’s those few moments when I feel like the earth is slowly giving away under my feet that I could do without.

Did any of you “graduate” brides go through this the last few months before the wedding or am I really going insane?

Forewarning….this may turn into the most random post ever!

Do you ever feel like you have SO MUCH going on in your head that you have trouble doing even the simplest things? Like your brain can’t stop turning long enough for you to remember how to tie your shoes? My brain is so chuck full of “stuff” lately that I can’t seem to accomplish even the simplest of tasks. Today I managed to spell my name wrong…..who does that? I’ve had the same name for 33 years now and today I couldn’t even manage enough brain power to get that right. You would think it was pretty easy A-M-Y…..how hard is that? And it’s not just my name that I’m messing up. I feel like I’m screwing up at work, I’m screwing up at home…I just can’t focus! I hang up with people after speaking to them on the phone and I can’t even remember what we just talked about because the whole time they are talking to me I’m going over about a million things in my head. Even as I’m trying to post this I can’t stay focused long enough to make complete sentences (I apologize now for my imperfect grammar if there is any due to this issue).

I’m thinking (hoping) that maybe if I list some of the things that keep revolving in my brain I might feel better. Maybe by seeing it on paper it will make me realize that this is just plain silly. There is nothing on this list that is worth what I have been going through. Don says that I’m even talking about it in my sleep. I’ve got to clear my brain and stop with this nonsense.

Okay, so here is a short version of some of the things that continuously go around and around in my head:

• Start tanning (I want to start wedding dress shopping soon and I want some color before I do this)
• Buy softener salt
• Fill out the contract for our DJ and get in mail ASAP along with deposit
• Set up appt with rental company to finalize contract (note to self: remember to remove salad plates from rental contract)
• Get oil changed in car
• Clean out car
• Get wire fencing put up out back before dog realizes he can crawl under neighbors fence
• Buy something to get rid of Moles in back yard
• Call officiant and set up appt to discuss ceremony
• Pay bills (note to self: add new bill pay info for refinanced car loan and remove old loan info)
• Add Don to savings account
• Clean out garage
• Record weight watchers points
• Workout
• Drink more water
• Faucet handles in tub need replaced
• Need to get baseboard for basement carpet
• Get groceries
• Put more water in the fridge to get cold
• Buy cat food
• File pets “micro chip” information in home office
• Change federal withholding back to normal on my payroll checks
• Get chicken out of freezer to thaw
• Balance checkbook
• Pluck eyebrows
• Download pictures off my camera
• Update my blog
• Shampoo carpets
• Find out why automatic car starter isn’t working
• Take comforter to dry cleaners
• Put additional cat litter box back in spare bedroom
• Give the dog a bath
• Order more checks (note to self: change address on checks)
• Schedule engagement pictures
• Update wedding binder and remove any unnecessary paperwork
• Buy face cream

Breathe Amy….Just breathe!!!

This is just a short glimpse of the list that encompasses my every thought. And this list doesn’t even include anything about work…..I won’t go there! I’ve already made a fool of myself so I don’t want to make it any worse.

Have I ever told you that I have a mild case of OCD? No? Well, I guess we’ll save that post for a rainy day!